We received pretty terrible news last Wednesday. The baby stopped growing at 8 weeks & 2 days. My first ultrasound was at 8 weeks so it was just shortly after that. This is pretty rare and the chance of miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks is about 1.5%. I am incredibly grateful & lucky to have an amazing OB that called me to confirm the miscarriage Wednesday night and met with me in her office for an hour on Thursday going through the best course of action for me. She also went through all my scans and labs and there was nothing abnormal about this pregnancy. In fact, my hormone levels were through the roof with the initial bloodwork and the pregnancy may very well have started off as twins.
We are traveling out of country on Tuesday, so I wanted a quick and safe way to end this pregnancy. I wanted to avoid surgery if possible so a D & C was out as a first option. I could have risked passing it naturally (it had been about 3 weeks since the baby passed away) but I didn’t want to risk this happening while we were on vacation in the States. I chose Misoprostol as my first line of therapy. This is a prostaglandin that works to create contractions to expel the lining of the uterus and the fetus. If you have ended up on this site because you googled misoprostol you know there are some pretty wicked horror stories.
My close family & friends have been amazing. So much support and acknowledgment that something sad has happened. If you know someone who has had a miscarriage – message, call or visit. Tell them that you’re sorry, ask how they are feeling and bring something sweet. On the opposite side of this is family who never acknowledged the pregnancy in the first place (no congratulations, no messages) and have yet to contact myself about the miscarriage even though they definitely know the story. This is a horrible thing to do to someone who is experiencing loss. So in my mind, this is the last straw. I have no desire to speak to those who couldn’t be happy for us and who couldn’t acknowledge our loss.
I am a type A person. If there’s a problem I look past it to figure out a solution. No doubt this has helped me emotionally get through this. Going through the scans and bloodwork with my OB helped my logical side understand what had happened. It was most likely chromosomal and if it was twins at the beginning my miscarriage rate increases to ~ 40%. I am young (ish), healthy, physically active and eat well. There is no family history of genetic defects or development issues. I took prenatals my entire pregnancy (and before). Basically no factors are present that would have led to a miscarriage. This also helped me move on. At the end of the day a loss at 11 weeks is less painful than a loss at 20 weeks, 40 weeks or 22 months due to a genetic deficiency. I know women at each of those marks who have had losses in the past year and I cannot imagine the pain.
I am also a sunny side up, glass half full person. I suggest that once the initial shock, anger, hurt, gut-wrenching pain subsides with time. Count on each finger something you have to be grateful for. Take a moment to look around you. Be thankful for health, for having people to love, for having people love you, for your job, your pets… anything that has every brought a smile to your face. A moment of silence for what your present holds and use this positive energy to project it into the future. Go for a walk, go to a class – immerse yourself in something with people that’s positive.
My “ten things” I am thankful for/bring me happiness are 1) my daughter (I could easily use this for all 10), 2) my husband 3) my family & their support 4) my health 5) My amazing OB and the incredible and efficient care I have received 6) My chocolate lab who is always happy, no matter what 7) Wine. California Wine. Wine on a plane… 8) Double tall caramel macchiatos 9) Bikram yoga 10) A 2016 baby.
A miscarriage is sad. I am not taking away from this and a lot of women have an incredibly hard time dealing with loss. It amazes me how catty the pregnancy forums can get yet the miscarriage/loss forums are a completely different place. There’s no judging, only understanding and support. This is my way of coping. I am sad, I did cry, I do feel like I lost something – but I need to look ahead and look around to help me get through this.
Below you will find my experience. If you haven’t had a miscarriage or taken Misoprostol I suggest you don’t read this, it’s graphic and honestly I’m glad I never knew about it until I needed to.
If you are taking Misoprostol please make sure there is someone home with you in case of complications.
I woke up at 4:45 AM to take my first dose of 400 mg Misoprostol. From what I had read it usually took at least 4 hours to kick in (mostly likely this is if you take 800 mg for your first dose).
7:45 – I was experiencing mild cramping, no spotting – nothing really at all. So I took my second dose of 400 mg an hour early and waited again.
8:15 – Cramping is starting to come in waves. Still nothing that really hurts.
9:00- Cramping with some minor bleeding/clots
9:45 – Cramps are starting to pick up intensity about a 4 on a pain scale. GI issues are starting up which at this point is the worst. Remember to drink lots of water and stay hydrated. A heating pad is helping at this point. Anytime the cramps pick up I head to the bathroom and pass clots.
11:15 – Cramps/contractions are up to about a 7-8. Debating on taking advil for the pain at this point. No “gushes”, able to make it to the bathroom to pass what I need to.
11:45 – Advil needed. Clots have stopped. Pain is nearing a 9, I can hardly stand up. My OB warned me I may get stuck and need to head to the E.R. for someone to manually removed the blockage. With some manipulation I am able to do it myself. If your pain gets this high and you do not feel comfortable helping things along – go to your doctor or E.R. Do not wait, not only because you can get yourself in trouble but because once this is over the pain completely disappears.
12:00 – Relief. No pain. I am sure everything has passed. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am ready to move on from this. I am ready for hugs from my toddler and husband. I am ready to get my body healed and try again.
Friday Afternoon & Saturday: Light spotting throughout the day. Nothing major.
I have an ultrasound today to make sure there is no remaining tissue. Typically this is done 1 week after taking the meds but because of my travel plans my OB moved things up a bit. Hoping everything is clear.
I hope this helps anyone who is going through this. Feel free to post your experience below to help others. Whether it was a natural miscarriage, with Misoprostol or a D&C – your experience may help someone else going through the same thing.